Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Unkept Thoughts - 12/8/09

Sometimes I get concerned with the things that float in and out of my head at any given time. What makes it worse is that generally speaking, I do most of my best thinking lying in bed at night, which not only prevents me from falling asleep in a timely manner, but also makes it extremely difficult to retain any memory of said thoughts when the morning comes around and I can put them on paper.

So, I’ve come to the point in my life where I try and keep a pen and paper on my nightstand at night for those very occasions. This has the benefit of helping me remember what came to mind the night before, but also has the drawback of irritating my wife every time the light goes on so that I can see what I’m scribing. It also adds pressure to the thoughts that in turn leads to more sleepless nights. Oh, the pressure!

Anyway, here are just a few of the things that have come to mind in recent nights.

-         Ever hear the expression “burning the candle at both ends”? Let’s make it more fun and do it with dynamite!

-         I was sitting around the other day and had some stray thoughts about Fluffers. Firstly, how does one come into a job like that? Secondly, how do you play that up to Mom and Dad or the In-Laws at Thanksgiving time; tell them you’re a Motivational Engineer or a maybe a Secret Stiffening Agent?

-         Maybe I’m just hitting this one of the hozzle, but I think the real motivation for all the talk about Tiger Woods’ “trangressions” isn’t controversy, it’s the excuse to roll out all of the golf euphemisms.

-         Speaking of Woods, I wonder whose green he’s putting around today….

-         Kenneth Biros, a convicted murder and current resident of Ohio’s death row will be given a previously unused execution method. My first thought was that he’d have to listen to Imus non-stop until his brain explodes.

-         With the sudden rise of services like Twitter making it necessary to convey things instantly in 140 characters or less, I’m going to beat everyone to the punch and create the next big thing called Caveman, and make it all happen with a series of grunts and flashing lights.

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