Monday Monologues - December 8, 2008

Wow, is it Monday again? It seems like the older I get, the quicker these days creep up on me. Oh well, at least I have my weekly excursion into the land of Monday Monologues to get me through the daily grind of life.

Enjoy!

- Vikings Wide Receiver Visanthe Shiancoe caught the game-winning touchdown pass versus the Lions on Sunday, but it was his post game performance that is getting all the publicity. It seems that Fox Sports, while taping Vikings owner Zygi Wilf presenting the game ball to coach Brad Childress with the game ball, inadvertently caught Shiancoe in the background with a towel that didn’t quite cover his Mini-Visanthe. When asked about the matter, Shiancoe is rumored to have said, “Unlike the Lions, I guess I don’t come up short.”

- The Timberwolves today fired coach Randy Wittman and replaced him with team Vice-President of Basketball Operations Kevin McHale. While McHale will step down from his former post in order to concentrate on coaching, he’ll still have to sit in the executive seats, as his long arms prevent him from staying within the coaching box during play.


- Greg Maddux today officially closed on the book on perhaps one of the finest pitching careers of our generation, retiring from the game with 23 seasons and 355 wins under his belt. Never one to miss a step, Maddux’s agent Scott Boras was quoted as saying despite his client’s retirement, he still believes there is a market for pitchers who won’t be pitching next season. Most notably, the New York Yankees were said to be kicking the tires now that Carl Pavano no longer fills that roster spot.

- NASCAR chairman Brian France recently petitioned Congress to do whatever was in their power to help stabilize Ford, General Motors, and Chrysler, saying "I'm writing you as a concerned American who wants what is best for our general country.” This request comes on the heels of Honda pulling out of Formula One racing next season. With sponsorship dwindling, NASCAR is forced to look for alternative means, including the possibility that the next Car Of Tomorrow will be a Segway Centaurs.


- NFL all-time leading scorer Morton Anderson announced his retirement, after being unable to catch on with a team. The 48-year-old Anderson had played 25 seasons, and five teams, in the NFL. Anderson’s retirement leaves Father Time and Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer as the oldest employed citizens in the world.

- The New York Daily News reported last week that the Mayor’s office had demanded suites and concessions at the stadium before they would pass certain referendums for the stadium which is currently under construction and due to open in 2009. The agreements reached allow the Yankees 250 more parking spaces, which will cost garage owners an estimated $820,000 per year and former Governor Elliot Spitzer at least one rendezvous point for future “endeavors”.

- Michelle Wie finally took a step toward becoming a true professional by qualifying for the LPGA tour over the weekend. The move is a big one for the 19-year-old former prodigy. Meanwhile Annika Sorenstam led the country in unison in the “Sigh Heard Round the World” signaling the exact time and place when the rest of the country admitted they just didn’t care anymore.